Duck by the water

Ponderism is not even a valid word, but things that comes through the e-mail can be fun. Here’s a good one, enjoy!

  • I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
  • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
  • Life is sexually transmitted.
  • Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see ‘em tumble down the stairs.
  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
  • Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
  • In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
  • How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  • Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
  • Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”
  • If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
  • Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
  • If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
  • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he doesn’t like it, but when you take him on a car ride at 70 MPH, he sticks his head out the window?
  • Did you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?